Alarm

Right now I need your help God, cos I'm confused and I don't know what to do. If I'm not careful I might do something nasty or stupid.

Actually, today was not really a good day for me, although I'm still grateful to God for keeping me alive. Today was really boring. Although my daily life has not always been exciting but today was  I mean boring. I laid down on my bed in room for hours doing nothing really, I guess the right word to use is that I was lonely. Well after that, I was so soaked up with the loneliness that I starting talking to myself saying ' are you a man or a  woman, why are you so kind of different from other guys. why are you such a looser?' I definitely know that I am a man but I don't feel like one right now in my life.
I just  pray to God that I don't do something stupid because of sex. I ask myself sometimes why  I can't have sex when every body is doing it. I know is not right to do things because other people are doing it, but to do it because you want to do it and you feel it is the right thing to do. sometimes  I ask myself  why do I feel the urge to sex if I should not have it now. I pray God help me.